Dreaming Bikram
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Photo via Bikram Yoga Bronx.
"You sweat out your elbows, your shins, your fingertips. You create your own puddle, your place in the hot room. The 'torture chamber,' they like to call it. But by the end of class, that puddle is home. Your own little haven: a space for letting go, focusing forward, and always, always locking the knee."
My friend sits down, wide-eyed. "It's really 105 degrees in the room?"
I nod, smiling.
"It's better than anything," I admit. "It's a 90-minute open-eyed meditation. You forget where you are and lose track of the real world. You learn to forget your ego in that room. It's like Bikram says: 'You have nothing to lose. You had nothing to begin with.'
As she listens, my friend's facial expression hasn't changed, her eyes and furrowed brows still reflecting their cynicism and doubt. She half-opens her mouth, pauses. "But wouldn't it be more enjoyable to take an evening Hatha class--"
I start to shake my head no.
"-- Or a Vinyasa Flow, something a little less..."
"--Intense?" I cut in, still shaking my head. "Ridiculous?" I'm starting to smile again, remembering the way it was in the beginning.
"See, there's something else Bikram says about the yoga," I add. "It can be pure hell, or heaven itself. The thing is, it's up to you to decide." And with that, unconvinced as my friend is, I'm satisfied to continue my raving description of the 26 asanas my body has begun to crave, the indescribable energy of a room crowded with dedicated yogis, that feeling of pure release in the final savasana...just imagining the perfect stillness of the room as I first enter it, settling into the humidity, inviting the sweat, easing into the stretch, I feel more at peace.
The feeling expands into flashes of the other moments only Bikram brings: pranayama building fire in the belly, overcoming the fear of the first back-bend of the class, losing the self by focusing on the dialogue, fighting the fuzziness and flickering stars of dizziness and nausea, watching the body open like a flower petal blooming in the mirror, discovering new love for a demanding posture, the rush of cool air from the air-conditioned lobby as I leave the studio...
***
This list is only a glimpse at the beginning of what the yoga has brought me. The more I think about it, the more I realize Bikram is so much more than the physical experience or the calories burned: it is a life-practice. An opportunity to breathe fully. A chance to find out what you're made of. A way to grow stronger, push through fear, and let go of the rest.
It's true: not only am I continuously falling in love with the practice, I've started dreaming Bikram. And it's when yoga invades your sleep, bringing you images of deepening postures, feisty studio owners, fountains flowing with coconut water -- then you know it's time to start blogging about it!
So with pride, excitement and big dreams for the future (including, yes, taking on teacher training someday), I'd like to welcome you to the blog and introduce myself: Rachel, fellow yogi, nice to meet you, come on in, let the sweat beads roll!
