I Create My Own Chaos (Thoughts on Staying Relaxed and Setting Boundaries During the Holiday Season)

Photos via Pinterest.

Today on Alive in the Fire we’re going to talk about setting healthy boundaries for yourself and with those you love. During the holidays, this can be especially challenging – you’re meeting up with family members you may not have seen in a long time, or maybe some who you don’t get along well with. It’s important to check in with yourself: what are my needs? What emotions am I neglecting?

Often it can be tempting to agree to spending time doing whatever everyone else has planned, or saying “yes” to all of the chaos that’s available: over-spending on gifts, filling up the calendar, pushing yoga to the bottom of the priority list, not taking time to release frustration and built-up emotion, and just generally getting overwhelmed by the flurry of activity going on.

As we close out this year, I invite you to consider this: what chaos am I creating in my own life? What can I choose to let go of?

It’s just like finding our edge in yoga and choosing to respect that edge while we are in the pose. Where can I soften? Instead of forcing, where can I release?

One of my sponsored yogis, Justin, shares some reflections on how you can protect your own space and choose to be happy even when the holidays provide opportunities to get stressed… these are some fantastic tips!

The holidays are usually a time of year I would prefer to avoid. I watch as the number in my bank account decreases, and my expectation for having the "perfect" holiday increases, and the likelihood of family drama usually sky rockets. Often I do my best to avoid the typical holiday, but this year I had the most family interaction in over 5 years and there was little to no trouble with my family members...and No...I didn't replace them with paid actors, I've just put into practice many tips and techniques I've learned over the years.

Visiting family over the holidays is similar to trying out a new yoga studio after a long break from practice. The studio might not be the right temperature and my body might be super tight...this certainly is not what I want! But if I accept that the studio and my body are how they are, and work with them in that moment, then there's the opportunity for things to warm up, get moving, and actually be enjoyable. I've learned that if I accept my family as they are and don't expect them to be the perfect, father, mother, sister, etc. then the entire interaction has a chance to warm up as opposed to when I fought so hard to make them into the person I wanted them to be. 

I know that was an amazing metaphor that will instantly transform you life, but just in case it didn't here are some practical tips that have helped me reduce holiday drama:

• I stay with a friend I like spending time with instead of family.
• I have an alternative plan for every situation that makes me nervous. It's easier to stay if I know it's by choice and not lack of options.
• I plan for the worst and hope for the best.
• I limit the time I spend with people I don't like. I can hold my tongue easier for two hours than two days.
• I start defining my plans and expectations for the holidays weeks in advance. This prevents me from surprising myself and others with the expectation of a Walton family Christmas.
• If I'm invited to a fight, I don't accept the invitation. Like when I'm in half moon and my mind wants to make plans for the weekend I kindly decline and go back to improving my posture.

All these behaviors take practice to implement and it's helpful to hear other people with similar situations describe their success or failure with different options. Whether it’s friends in the yoga community or through other support groups I find listening to other share their experience gives me options I didn't know existed. 

Also having a chance to share out loud my thought process makes conscious my attitudes and beliefs and gives me the opportunity to put them in perspective and change them once I recognize how unreasonable and unhelpful they are. 

The 2013 holidays are almost behind us; let's use them as a reference point for learning and growth and a stepping stone to cheerful holidays in 2014.

All Is Love

"Hi, beautiful!"

To walk into a sacred space and be greeted by loving, kind, open-hearted yogis is such a gift. Today I am blown away by the love and gratitude present in my yoga community.

I am so, so grateful to connect with fellow students and teachers. To look around the room and sense the presence and compassion. To witness the beautiful energy that comes from raising our collective vibration.

I am so grateful to sit at the front of class and feel my heart flutter as I beat on my drum and sing a chant and watch the yogis around me engage fully in their practice.

As my teacher says, "We are all, quite literally, in this together."

We can choose to be loving and kind to each other. That energy we send out is coming right back to us.

"Everything around us is a sea of love... all you have to do is swim in it."

Today I am humbled in gratitude for the yogis standing on the mats next to me, for our teachers who fearlessly hold space and help us find our fire and stand in it.

All is love!

om shanti shanti shanti ~ ~ ~ peace!

Holiday Stress

Photos via My Morning Coffee on Tumblr.

I’m feeling heavy today. My mind seems to be running wild with worries.

When will I be done fighting this cold? My schedule is so busy.

The holidays are coming up. Can I afford to buy that gift when I still have one more teacher training payment left?

Work projects are making my head spin. It’s hard to concentrate when I feel tired and sneezy…

I wasn’t expecting a text from a family member I haven’t talked to in months. For some reason, reading his message made my heart feel heavy. What will I say to him? I wonder if my yoga and meditation practice are stirring up old hurt that I’m ready to move through now. Now I’m thinking about past relationships, and my future, and yet wanting to live in the present moment…

Yesterday at my yoga studio I overheard a teacher talking to a student about how she’s been noticing people in classes lately are moody. “It must be the holidays – everybody’s grumpy and angry!” she said. “You can feel it as soon as you walk into the room.”

The two of them laughed about how at this time of year we let ourselves get stressed out.

“You know what I’m going to do between now and Christmas?” she said. “I’m going to make a commitment to get to a class at the studio every day. Even if that means getting up at 5:45 so I can fit my yoga in.”

Today, while things feel chaotic, I am reminded of the value of making time for my practice. I commit to getting on my mat.

Today I’ve gone through the process of getting upset, observing myself overreact, and allowing myself to sit with the feeling of discomfort for a moment rather than turning to the nearest distraction for momentary relief. Instead of letting the worries run wild, I took a moment to look at them and figure out what was really bothering me. I made a list of what’s priority—what I can take care of now, and what I can let go of. And I made a promise to myself to practice yoga today as part of that letting go.

Ultimately, I realized: I’ll be OK. I always am. This becomes clear every time I take a moment to breathe, to reconnect. When I make an effort to consciously be more grateful for the blessings I have, or to ask for the help I need. This moment of heaviness will pass.

Namaste.

5 Minute Meditation

Take a moment from your day. Sit in a comfortable cross-legged position. Close your eyes.

Trace your inhale. Notice when the inhale begins and when it ends. Notice the moment of stillness between the inhale and the exhale.

As thoughts appear in your mind, notice them, but do not attach. Let them arrive and leave again like waves.

Focus your attention on your third eye. 

Ask yourself: how would it look to be living my ideal life? How would I spend my days? How would I feel?

Relax. Gaze into your third eye. Allow the answers within to surface.

As you transition out of meditation, deepen your exhales. Feel your body grounded on the earth. Slowly come back.

It's Time to Put the Brakes On

Photos via Pinterest.

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

- Gandhi

I’m feeling pulled in all directions this week. Lots going on. Lots of people reaching out. Lots of new possibilities.

At this time of year, it’s easy for me to over-commit. I think I may have wandered into that territory already.

Thankfully, I have my yoga practice. On my mat, I return to center. I re-align with what is most important. I check in with myself.

Where am I physically, mentally, emotionally? What do I need? What have I been neglecting?

It is important to rest in stillness, but so often I make excuses not to slow down. I’ll rest after I check the next thing off my list…

This week my intention is to slow down and to be gentle with myself. I choose to actively cultivate self-awareness, to practice good self-care, and to release what no longer serves me.

PS I recently discovered this Guide to Cutting Back When You Feel Overwhelmed from Leo at Zen Habits. It has some really helpful tips about how to go about cutting down your to-do list, and generally lowering stress by being realistic about your commitments!

Happy December!

Photos via Pinterest.

Somehow the holidays always manage to sneak up on me.

One minute it’s flip flop season and the next, Halloween and Thanksgiving have already passed. Do you guys feel this way?!

Regardless, I’m excited for December. I love seeing all the festive lights and getting cozy and wearing slippers and having hot chocolate. I love wearing scarves and boots. And I love how awesome it feels to be in the heat during yoga. Such a relief from the cold, and such a light, almost magical sense in my body by the end of class.

My intention this holiday season is to hold onto that feeling of release and lightheartedness throughout each day. To give myself the gift of yoga. To connect with those I love.

And not to get caught up in the whirlwind; rather, simply to enjoy each moment as it happens.

What are you up to this holiday season?

Presence (On Dancing and Being Still)

Photo by Cait Loper.

This weekend was wild!

Dancing... hanging out with friends... hula hooping... staying up super late and talking... sitting by the fire... checking out a new bar... dancing to the DJ's beats... meeting new friends... hanging out in Oakland for ecstatic dance, brunch, and a walk by the lake...

All the while, I felt very active and alive and connected. 

I gave myself the freedom to move, to express, to seek my highest joy.

I gave myself permission to change my plans at the last minute, and to listen to my body.

And I must say, I danced more than I have in years and it felt so good!

After such an active couple of days, I'm feeling very satisfied, grateful, and ready for some rest and relaxation.

It is beautiful to transition into solitude and quiet after being active and social. Tonight I took a bath, ate meditatively, wrote in my journal, reflected on the upcoming yoga class I'll be teaching, and allowed myself to be instead of do.

According to Ram Dass, “[The] distortion comes from defining ourselves in terms of doing instead of being. But behind all the doings, all the roles, you just are – pure awareness, pure consciousness, pure energy. When you reside fully in the present moment, you are outside of time and space.”

Trungpa Rinpoche notes, “Our lives awaken through ordinary magic.” It’s in everyday things that the miraculous happens. If we practice being here now, we develop the sensitivity to perceive and appreciate the daily miracles of our lives."

My invitation to you tonight is to slip effortlessly into just being. Turn off your phone for a few minutes. Light a candle. Let the attachments and stories and fears recede into the background of your awareness.

If you feel like dancing, dance.

And if you dance for hours, rest.

And in all you are doing or not doing, simply allow yourself to be.

I Like Hugging You

 

Photos via Pinterest.

You came over for yoga class yesterday. When you got to my apartment, I gave you a big hug. I could feel you smiling as I pulled you close.

I looked at you in class and I wanted to squeeze you again. I just felt so proud of you for being present in your practice, for being so strong. I wanted to hold you as a way of saying you are beautiful. Maybe to be held by you a little bit, too.

Sometimes a hug is like saying thank you.

In savasana, I massaged your feet for a few moments; this was its own way of hugging.

After class, I was saying farewell and gave you a big hug on your way out. We kept talking for a second and then had to have another one. I didn’t mind. 

Thanksgiving Flow (I'm Teaching My First Official Yoga Class!)

Next week I teach my first “official” yoga class!

I’m holding space for students and rock climbers at Granite Arch in Rancho Cordova at 7pm on Tuesday, November 26. I’m super excited to do a one-hour vinyasa flow with a gratitude theme in honor of Thanksgiving. 

Join me – bring a friend and a mat, dress in layers (it’s cool inside), and climb afterward if you like! I recommend getting there a few minutes early so you can fill out a waiver.

My goals for this first class are to:

• Get grounded.

• Be present for my students.

• Connect—body, breath, spirit.

• Allow myself to be seen.

• Be gentle with myself if I get nervous or make mistakes.

• Trust my intuition.

• Help encourage others to live in gratitude.

Hope I see you on your mat!

Yoga for Star Wars Geeks

Photo illustration via Yoga Peach.

When you think about it, Ujjayi breath sounds a lot like Darth Vader. If you’re doing it right, that is :)

Ujjayi means victorious breath and there are a lot of reasons why we practice it in yoga.

Ujjayi calms the mind and body. The breath allows you to go deeper into your practice. It also increases lung vitality and respiratory efficiency. I think my favorite part about the ocean-sound breath is that it tends to inspire the yogis around you to meet their edge, to be present.

I think next time I teach, I want to wear these wild pants... simply as a way to inspire students to breathe deeper.

Leggings via Black Milk Clothing.

PS If you need some practice, check out this tutorial on Ujjayi breathing.

On Happiness

Photo by Sarah Rhoads.

Health is wealth. Peace of mind is happiness. Yoga shows the way.

-Swami Vishnu-Devananda

What makes you happy?

Photo by Christine Hewitt via Yogic Photos.

Lately I have been reflecting on my tendency to seek outwardly for happiness. I achieved my goal. I feel connected to my friends and family. I feel validated in my relationships. I feel good about what I do. I am happy that I took the time to practice yoga today.

Yet there is the possibility of something much deeper: happiness from within.

Photo by Tyler Branch.

I am happy simply to be. I am who I am. I accept and love myself. I am able to sit with myself comfortably in silence. I am OK alone.

My intention this week is to seek peace and contentment from within—not based on external circumstances, experiences or attachments. This week I will be gentle, loving and accepting with myself, creating happiness from the inside out.

Photo by Tyler Branch.

Where do you find happiness?

Teaching Yoga

Photos by Christine Hewitt of

Yogic Photos

.

What’s it like being a new yoga teacher?

So far my experience looks like this:

Gather friends through various conversations, text messages, and hugs. Invite them to a 1-hour yoga class at my apartment.

Get really, really excited thinking about the group of people who’s going to gather in my living room. Imagine their mats set up next to each other, and all of them sitting in child’s pose.

Spend the entire day at work thinking about the Baptiste flow, envisioning the postures, mumbling the transitions and cues to myself. Spend several days leading up to class

reciting the flow

out loud in my car on the way to and from work.

Put together a playlist of my favorite songs, and smile at the thought of rocking out to some of my favorite songs while watching some of my favorite people do yoga.

The day of class, write down the flow and some ideas for teaching I want to share. Consider the theme for the class, or a quote or message to share. (For my first class, I read a passage from

Meditations on the Mat

about letting go of attachment during savasana. For the second one, I discussed ujjayi breathing and mountain pose as foundations at the beginning of class, and then spent a while in the middle breaking down the Warrior poses.)

An hour before class, practice the flow I’m about to teach. Feel it in my body.

A few minutes before anyone knocks on the door, light candles and turn on peaceful music. Feel my stomach do flips as I set up my mat at the front of the room. Ground into my feet and feel my heartbeat, generating positive energy and clearing the room, making space for the practice that’s about to take place here. Release my attachment to the outcome. Devote my practice to my students, bringing love into my heart.

Say hello and give hugs as everyone walks in.

Breathe deeper.

Teach. Connect. Assist. Allow each student to have their own experience on the mat.

During savasana, offer energy, healing, light and love to each person in the room. Notice the feeling of calm in the air, and the look of peace on their faces. (The first time I looked, it literally took my breath away. My heart

soared

.)

End class humbly, in gratitude, and do my best not to squeal and yell joyfully at everyone about how stoked I am.

And then do it all again. :)

Do you teach? What was your early yoga career like?

PS Next on the list: teach private one-on-one classes and lead a gratitude-themed flow at my local

rock climbing

gym! Stay tuned.

Changes

Photos by Cait Loper Photography.

Lately I am surprised by my own body.

In downward dog, my heels skim the floor.

In crow, my arms, wrists and hands are and steady and strong. I can stay for eight breaths instead of three.

I’m working on bringing my torso down onto my forearms in wheel.

Last night I moved effortlessly into Eka Pada Koundiyanasana II (Pose Dedicated to the Sage II), both feet hovering off the ground, my body resolute to hold the posture. Instead of falling out like I have so many times, I felt weightless, resilient.

I can hold handstand off the wall for a few breaths, and I recently tried handstand-ing forward from downdog into forward fold, and it worked. I hovered for a moment, feeling the thrill of the inversion, before I continued in my flow.

It is exciting to experience my practice deepening, my body unfolding, my heart opening.

It is beautiful to witness the beauty and power of change, to ask: whose body is this?

Lines of Energy

Do you consider the lines of energy in your body when you practice?

In each pose, we draw energy through the body along different meridians.

  

I discovered these photo illustrations via Wanderlust and love how they provide a beautiful representation of the shifting of energy that happens in yoga.

Each asana is like a painting with its own color, texture, richness.

Yogi/ writer Erich Schiffmann describes it this way:

Stiff and tight areas of your body inhibit the free circulation of energy and thereby strangle your internal supply of nourishment. These are the areas where you experience pain or discomfort to one degree or another. They are undernourished - crying for help. When clenched tightly this way, they remain separate, constricted, unrelated to the whole. As they open, they begin to receive nourishment once again. Physical discomfort and pain will disappear as healing occurs. When you restore lost movement to these tight areas of yourself, you rejuvenate them, bringing life to more of yourself.

As you open the physical meridians in the body, enlivening these energy channels, you are able to embrace life more fully. Body, mind, and spirit are all connected through these energy lines.

Become aware of them in your practice, inviting more space for transformation. 

Coming Home

Photo by Cait Loper.

You are exactly where you are meant to be.

All the moments of your life have led you to this place, this day, this breath.

Can you sit in silence with yourself? Can you open your heart, softening, resting in what is?

Place one hand over your beating heart. Place one hand over your belly. Feel your body breathe. Come home.

Staying Young: Yoga and Its Effects on Aging

Photo by Robert Sturman via Elephant Journal.

With yoga, you can grow younger every year.

I mean, have you guys seen the world’s oldest yoga teacher (above)? Or Dharma Mittra (below)?

They glow. And it's because they have been dedicated to their practice for years. Today I bring you an awesome guest post by health writer Tara Heath about the anti-aging benefits of yoga. Haven’t you heard you should do inversions for fewer wrinkles? Well, that’s only the beginning! Read on…

Photo via Pinterest.

Aging is something that nobody can prevent – even as much as everyone in the world would like to. However, there are some things you can do in your day-to-day life to help slow the process of aging and stay healthy. The most obvious of those being simple things like eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep each night.

Yoga, despite its popularity and generally accepted health benefits, isn't something people always think of when considering ways to slow the clock on aging. Surprisingly, it turns out that it may actually be a beneficial weapon in the fight against time. 

Even if you’re not in your senior years quite yet, or aging isn't the first thing on your mind, taking steps to stay healthy and feel young can benefit everybody, and starting early is always better than starting late. 

Image courtesy of Flickr .

Increased Flexibility 

Men and women are born with the same amount of flexibility, but as they age, that flexibility decreases. While the decline typically occurs faster in men than women, adults over the age of 35 are generally much less flexible than they were in their 20s.

Yoga, which puts the body in a variety of unique positions, helps improve flexibility in a way that isn't overly uncomfortable or painful. Over time, doing the poses can make it easier for you to do daily tasks. This can help you tremendously as you age, as many injuries for adults and seniors come from doing everyday activities. 

Image courtesy of Flickr .

Improved Joint Strength 

Like flexibility, joint strength tends to diminish with age. Yoga is beneficial for building or restoring some of that joint strength, however, as many types of yoga incorporate poses that require you to support your body weight. In that way, yoga is much like strength training, which also helps improve joint strength.

Of course, the positions you use that require you to support your body weight also aid in building muscle. More muscle mass also helps reduce injuries and keep your body weight down.

Better Sleep 

Aging adults tend to have more sleep problems than younger ones. Not getting enough sleep can result in serious health problems and more rapid aging.

Doing yoga regularly can help you improve your quality of sleep since the asana practice combines both exercise and relaxation techniques – two things we know are essential or a well-regulated sleep schedule. 

If you have trouble sleeping at night and it’s causing problems in your daily life or making you feel run-down, taking a few yoga classes could go a long ways toward curing your problem.

Photo via Pinterest.

It’s impossible to stop the aging process completely, but that doesn't mean that you can’t slow it down a bit. Although eating right is what you hear about most when the topic of aging comes up, exercise and relaxation are both a close second.

Luckily those are two things that yoga can provide for you, making it an almost ideal anti-aging activity. 

Photo via Pinterest.

Tara Heath is a freelance writer in Southern California. She enjoys practicing yoga regularly, finding that it is very beneficial in helping her to relax and unwind after a long day. As a health writer, she contributes to the Presidio Home Care blog. 

Mantra and Manifestation with Steve Gold

Last weekend I had the pleasure of practicing a vinyasa flow class with live music from Steve Gold, and then attending his workshop on Mantra and Manifestation. Both were incredible yoga experiences!

It was so powerful to sing during class, to be freely encouraged to make noise and to express from the heart. The studio was jam-packed, yogis lined up like little sardines. There’s always something exciting about a full room and I was inspired by the energy created by all of us moving and breathing together.

And I have to say it was pretty magical singing So Much Magnificence and feeling the voices resonate in the room during savasana. If you haven’t heard that song, you should definitely check it out.

During the workshop, Steve dove into an exploration of mantra.

We sang om namah shivaya, a mantra close to my heart. You may remember, I have it tattooed on my right ankle :)

Though the Sanskrit words are hard to translate, some interpret the phrase as “I am that I am.” The breakdown of each word can be explained with various definitions:

• Om: the universal sound; an exuberant roar of joy; “yes!”; verily; so be it; amen
• Namah: to bow; “I invite this energy into my heart”
• Shiva: that which contains all things; all possibility; maximum expansion; the destroyer of ignorance

When chanting om namah shivaya, I acknowledge my higher Self. I acknowledge all aspects of my being, and all possibilities for what may come. I ground myself, considering the path I walk. I see the path clearly before me. Om namah shivaya. I am that I am.

The words have such power, and for me personally, they conjure up a lot of memories of the past year when I chanted as a way to invite strength into my life. When we sang the first time during Steve’s workshop, I couldn’t help but tear up.

Om namah shivaya, Om shanti

Om namah shivaya, Om shanty

The words felt like such a relief, and the collective sound of the chant brought me into a space of light, peace, and comfort.

After explaining the meaning of the mantra and letting us experience it firsthand, Steve launched into a compelling story about moving to Hawaii in his 20s. His goal was to cast aside physical and material attachments, to detach from society in pursuit of enlightenment. He encountered several wise mentors and spiritual texts along the way, and was surprised to find that while the adventure was initially very appealing, he couldn’t sustain this simple life of living in a hut, spending days by a waterfall with his guitar, and doing yoga and meditation.

Perhaps most surprising was finding confirmation that his path toward enlightenment didn’t have to look like that of a monk.

He was struck by the words in the Gospel of Sri Rama Krishna that stood in stark contrast to the lifestyle of his spiritual quest:

As long as you have desires, you must exhaust them.

Later, another teacher put it in this way: All of us seek something to do, and someone to love.

Why not discover what it is you seek, and run after it exuberantly?

So often in yoga and spiritual circles, we hear about the ancient masters who sacrificed a so-called “normal” life and retreated to the caves to do the “real” yoga, meditation, praying, fasting, and other sacred practices.

I found it refreshing to be reminded that we each have spiritual gifts, and many of them involve worldly connections. For Steve Gold, fulfilling his dharma means being a conduit for spontaneous spiritual connection and transformation through musical gatherings. He travels, connects with people up close, and shares his music in a very visceral, immediate way.

He’s had to overcome fears and self-doubt in order to do so. Again and again, he returns to his heart’s truest desire in order to find the motivation and inspiration to keep playing his songs and speaking his truth.

I am grateful to Steve for sharing his wisdom and his powerful music, and for challenging me to be clear about my desires – to be conscious of them, and active physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually in pursuing them.

Om namah shivaya om!

 

Steve has a new track called Golden Om. I highly recommend his albums Let Your Heart Be Known and So Much Magnificence. 

He's also on Facebook.