What Have You Found?


Today has been one of those days when I have trouble letting go. I am trying to remind myself of a new mantra:


It is just you and your breath, and all the emptiness.


Presence, balance, strength, courage: what yoga builds in us. It takes years -- a lifetime -- to earn our own trust, to piece ourselves together. Sometimes, though, I just want to be somewhere.


Satisfaction in arrival -- we give this up in hope for something greater. And without a destination, we are allowed to wander, to experience all that is around us.


I would say I will get there someday, but that would defeat the purpose, now wouldn't it?

Balancing Stick and Celery Sticks

Photo via Flickr.

I strolled back into the hot room last night, excited to take class with one of my favorite teachers. She greeted me happily at the front desk when I walked in. "Hey, how have you been?!" As the answer, "Great!" came out my mouth, the thought that crossed my mind was: "And about to get better!"


I know it's been a while since I've Bikramed when I set up my mat and can't help but look around the room. I found it funny last night, observing all of the little pre-class rituals people have. I watched an older guy hold a headstand, his legs swaying off to the left like the undercurrent of a stream. I was surprised how well he could balance there, slightly off-center.


A lady in front of me who always parks in the front row performed her little dance/stretch routine, bending in deep squats, pushing her joints around to align the muscle groups, rolling into a quick plough pose. I wonder how she would survive class without her little warm up routine; I don't think I've ever seen her come in and meditate in stillness before class.


I watched ladies in the back push into down dog, relieved that I'm not the only one to bring non-Bikram poses into the room.


Photo via Flickr.


I was pleased that I could do every posture in the series, and even happier to find that I actually enjoyed every pose! Standing Forehead to Knee proved an enjoyable challenge. I loved that our teacher demonstrated step one -- leaning forward to grab the foot -- since this seemed to motivate all of us to move more quickly into the posture. She also did this with Balancing Stick, joining in with the movement of the arms overhead and the bending forward at the waist to take the shape of a capital letter "T."


We floated in and out of the postures, growing stronger with every series.


Complete side note: celery sticks make an awesome post-Bikram snack! I was happily surprised to find how much I enjoyed them. They're watery, with a pleasant crunch, and they satisfy that side of you that's longing for pure, natural hydration after class. Normally I'm not so fond of celery, but now I know when to eat it. I also highly recommend salt and vinegar chips and YogaEarth Purity coconut water. Refreshing!

Burnout

 

We have an edge off the mat, too. How long can we hold there?

And a better question: why do we force ourselves to?

Consider what you can let go of in your life -- what pain you could confront. Only by facing the mirror can we begin to change ourselves.

Forward Fold

Photo via Satya Is Truth.

Having a rough day?

A forward fold can be the perfect dose of calm.

Personally, I like to integrate Uttanasana into my breaks at the office. It's one of my all-time favorite poses, really: so calming, and a lovely stretch for the backs of the legs (especially when my calves are tight from bike riding).

Photo via Best Soy Latte.

Then there's always child's pose, for when you have a little more time and you're home from a long day. Settle in, let the hips drop into the earth, and allow a falling-out breath to tumble out.

If you're in class and you're lucky, your instructor might add a little press to your lower back for even more spinal stretching and stress relief! (You could always make a request of your loving spouse or friend to help with this, too.)

A Solid Base

All photos by yours truly.

For a long time, inversions had me nervous. I didn't like the disorienting feeling of being upside down; I felt so heavy, like one wrong move could leave me in a pile on the floor.

Step by step, I've been building a stronger foundation.

Now, I enjoy the set up: building a strong base with clasped hands and flexed forearms, toes tiptoeing in until there's nowhere else to go except up the wall. And the best is that moment where I'm hovering, completely in my own body, nothing but sturdy.

And the freedom in tightening the shoulder blades, drawing them down, creating space for the cervical spine to breathe. That's when I know I'm most free: my whole body on top of me, and yet, no pressure on the neck. 

I was so inspired, smiling as I launched myself upside down, over and over again. I even managed a few headstands in the middle of the living room, too, no wall to fall back on. 

This is the only way we can change ourselves, too: slowly tracing the steps over and over until one day, they are comfortable, easy, normal. Eventually speaking my mind will be as effortless as hanging out upside down. For now, I'm happy knowing I have a foundation to work from.




No Storm Here

Photo via Everyday Musings.

Yesterday I woke up first. I made myself a cup of joe (I've been enjoying them again lately). And I sat in the bowl chair by the window, the sun coming in, the breeze whispering through, and I was perfectly content.

Literally, the thought 

I have no desires

passed through my mind.


Photos via Pinterest

Lately, too, I have been in love with the breeze that blows through our apartment.

It's just the right temperature. A reminder of heaven.

I also adore the sound of the night once the sun has set. Like a murmuring outside: frogs peeping, crinkling of window unit air conditioners, the occasional far-off dog bark, and a thick, dark quiet.

I am calmed by our little place, our home.

Enchanted


Where do your dreams take you?

Being
     at the bottom of my own heart
a passageway through:
to the deep fears

hovering spider,
my brother's casket being lowered,
letters on a gravestone,

release, release
not far          up through the black water
a pearl -- dark liquid dries and turns to ash, is stirred up

Father, Father

picturing myself talking again

a fist, a wrist, fingers
filling up the space
of the heart

Side Crow and Developing a Playful Yoga Practice


I recently discovered the wonder of flying. Side crow is awesome!

A couple weekends ago, some friends and I headed north to Two Rivers, Wisconsin for an end of summer adventure on Lake Michigan. We watched people kayak, sunbathe, and bird watch. I was more interested in testing my own bird-like abilities :)


Don't you love when you get to a place with certain asanas where you can just play? Lately, I've been dedicating my practice to the joy of playing with yoga. What will happen if I kick my leg out? What tension can I let go of? What will happen if I smile now? What will happen if I just laugh and fall out?


Dare to be silly in class. Last night, one of my favorite instructors reminded us to acknowledge the importance of reverence. He prompted us to consider the difference between "precision" and "precision driving for perfection." And he brought up an important point: we never get to a place where we can execute an asana perfectly. That's not the point of yoga. The point is to be fully present for the journey.



Instead of wondering, "Why won't my body do what it could before?" or telling yourself, "I'm not good at this," or celebrate what you can do. 


Arm balances and inversions sometimes feel like the most serious of yoga postures. Once you've mastered handstands and scorpion, you're in the big leagues, right? All focus, determination, no nonsense now.


I say: let that go!


Choose to define yourself by your presence, not your postures.  

  
Yoga is in the body and the mind. If you can't be lighthearted and free, you're missing all the good stuff.


Our adventure north was all about feeling whimsical: windows down, music blaring, wind whipping the hair. Dancing on the sand. Trespassing to climb around on lighthouses. Dashing into the freezing water with no qualms. And enjoying how refreshing that big body of water is, even when the waves leave you covered in sea moss. :)  





I hope you will join me in pursuing joy, even in the hard postures. As Nick likes to say, "Someone's getting a little levitation practice in!"

And I agree: light body, light heart, light mind. The way to freedom is not in perfect execution of advanced postures; all you have to do is embrace a little levity.

Music Giveaway: Neil Middleton's Sunrise Music

Photos via Sarah Rhoads.

Neil Middleton's music is the kind you could listen to while enjoying a deep heart meditation, or sleeping without dreaming, or practicing peacefully on your mat.

His songs wash over you like a calm, wholesome wave.

And leave you feeling refreshed, with energy like this:


Natural, smooth sounds from strings, percussion and woodwinds fill you up with vibrant energy. The breath is even. The mind is still.




You could use a little refreshing sound in your practice, I just know it. Leave a comment below -- two lovely readers will win a download of Sunrise Music. Happy Friday, yogis!


Namaste.

Effortless



All photos via Everyday Musings.

There is just something so effortlessly calm about this blog. I've been perusing the photos for a while now. I especially love the beach house scenes. They're making me think of my sister, who just moved to North Carolina.


Wouldn't it be lovely to spend this afternoon by the water, wrapped in a hoodie and clutching a cup of coffee, snuggling up together?


I'll race you there.




Learning to Breathe Upside Down (Mr. Yoga Workshop @ TruHarmony Yoga Chicago)

Photo via the Mr. Yoga website.


This post is far overdue, but I wanted to share it nonetheless. Sponsored yogi Rich and I attended some fierce workshops in the spring with Mr. Yoga at TruHarmony in Chicago. He kicked our butts, and pushed us to new levels in our yoga practice, and for that we are grateful.

For me, this was a dive headfirst into the world of arm balances, headstands and handstands. For Rich, it was some great practice. Here are our reflections.


Photo via Dudes Doing Yoga on Tumblr.

From Rich:
Friday evening's Mr. Yoga workout was the most grueling yoga practice I have ever had. Granted, it may not have been the best idea to take a class at noon and then come back to the studio for the workshop, but I did it anyway.

Dan (Mr. Yoga) and his manager, Mike, got to the studio a little bit before 5:00 pm and were immediately ready to start practicing. Yogis started putting their mats down in the studio by 5:15. Dan was in there playing with them as they did. It was great. I walked in there and heard excited giggles and shouts. I saw people getting into fun, awesome poses that they didn't even know they were capable of. Like I said, it was awesome.

Finally, 6:00 rolled around. The practice started like most other vinyasa practices I have attended. There was some talk about breath, a few words about philosophy, then right into sun salutations. We were holding a crescent lunge when Dan walked up and said, "Oh wow, that's perfect!" He then stuck his fingers in my armpits and tickled me. It was totally disarming and hilarious. 

At this point, I actually thought that this might be not be that tough. I should learn how to avoid thoughts like that. At this point we started working upper body. 

There was a pushup for everything! We isolated the triceps, front of the shoulder, back of the shoulder, middle of the shoulder, pectorals, and the upper back (also, it is quite possible that there were more sets of pushups that I have blacked out because it hurt so good). We worked the upper body for probably an hour of the 90-minute workshop. 

The lower body set was subdued in comparison. We did a couple sets of wide-legged chair pose squats with calf raises. I am by no means trying to downplay the intensity of the lower body workout. It was just that the upper body workout beat me into a puddle. 

The workout was super intense and I had a yoga buzz on afterward. 

Photo via Flickr.

Saturday morning rolled around and I woke up a touch sore. I had some breakfast and went to the studio for arm balances and inversions.

This class started similarly to Friday evening's class. This time, though, sun salutes gave way to hand stand prep. We partnered up and got into hand stands with our partners spotting us. It was interesting feeling a hand stand for the first time. I was so tempted to say, "Just let me go." But I thought that maybe that was a touch past where I was practicing safely, so I didn't.

We did some headstands. That is an understatement. We spent the next hour on our heads. It was amazing. We went through seven different variations of headstands and armstands. This totally blew me away. 

Headstands make me happy. Dan would demo, then we would play. He would demo, we would play. All the way through all seven of the variations. It was great. You could hear people falling out and getting right back into the headstands the whole time. We learned an awesome trick to practice headstands with the help of a wall. You just get into hands and knees, position yourself for the headstand, and then walk up the wall like it ain't no thang! And then you fall and do it all over again!

I walked out of that practice completely spent, completely yoga drunk, and with a tingling on the top of my head. It was brilliant and I can't wait for them to come back and do another workshop.

Namaste,
Rich

Photo via Flickr.

We worked on 7 kinds of headstands. We practiced jumping into crane pose. 

We walked the wall.

We learned what it means to develop tricep strength, core strength and fearlessness.

I felt fazed by everyone else, and his confidence. I'm pretty sure I spent most of class here:

Photo via Flickr.

I would try to summon the courage, but my thoughts would return to fear of hurting my neck. I'd look around the room and compare myself to others. I'd glance right and left, trying to see what the girls next to me were up to. I'm only a beginner, right? I told myself this several times.

Mr. Yoga called on me as an example, and held me up in a handstand. I felt anxiety grip me and I felt very trapped, unable to access my muscles. It was true, what he had told us at the beginning of class: "English sounds different upside down."

In the end, I was glad he used me as an example not only for the chance to feel that strong grip but the experience of getting through all eyes on me.

He pushed us to our limits, inviting a mental and physical struggle. He was a true teacher.

During savasana, he spoke about the eight limbs of yoga, and it became clear that for all the silliness, all of the jokes and tickling, and despite the feeling that we had spent several hours in boot camp, this wisdom was true. Mr. Yoga has built his understanding from the deep foundations of yoga. 

Photo via Flickr.

Back to Bikram!

All photos via Threading in the Choirs.

I walked in empty, excited to renew, cleanse and energize my body. After several months out of the hot room, it felt wonderful to return to my Bikram yoga practice. Our studio owner welcomed me back and I smiled all the way through pranayama.


About half way through class, lying in savasana, I could feel my entire body buzzing with delight. Every muscle, system, fiber glowing with life.


After class, my spine thanked me. Today, all of my muscle groups are thanking me (especially my wonderfully sore mid-back). I can't wait to roll out my mat again soon!

Searching

Photo by Brian Ferry.

I am surfing the net on a Wednesday evening, slurping an avocado bubble tea. I'm thinking about how so much of our online experience is shaped by immediacy: we want the world at our fingertips, ready to be grasped. We want to be able to find things quickly.

I'll admit, some of my favorite sites lately are ones where I can customize a search based on my needs. If I'm looking for a good recipe based on the ingredients in my cupboards (or better yet, based on the ones I'm craving,) I go for Gojee. (How else am I going to discover pumpkin cupcakes with chai cream cheese frosting?!)

 
Photo by Brian Ferry.  
Photo via Food 52.

Recently I discovered Betterfly, a site where you can search your area for private yoga instructors (and/or post for free).

Photo via FYeahYoga.

And then there's always Etsy, my favorite yoga Tumblr sites, and StumbleUpon. One's ability to bounce around on the Internet is endless. Pinning pictures, reading blog posts, updating Facebook and Twitter, milling about on Wikipedia and Google, bookmarking, commenting, opening new tab after new tab!


In a way, all this searching has us confused. We begin to wonder who we are, and draw lines around our digital identities. Is this where I'm meant to be? Where will I go? Who can I connect with? Who knows me?


But for all our searching, we are still ourselves.


Be still, within yourself. Practice presence.


You cannot be someone else. As you come to accept who you truly are, you can be alive, content. 


For all your searching, you can still allow stillness. Let emptiness be there. 


Photo by Brian Ferry.