Meditation (A Guest Post)
/My experience meditating started out many years ago, sometime during the 1990s. I had been attending some yoga classes on and off when I first became interested in the subject of meditation. Since I lived in a small, rural community, my best resources were books. I read books on mindfulness meditation by Jon Kabat-Zinn and Sharon Salzberg. I practiced the suggested meditations and did this for a while, but was not consistent with my practice. This was a pattern that would continue on and off for a number of years as I just didn’t know how to fit a meditation practice into my life.
In 2004, I went through a 200 hour teacher training program and started my journey as a yoga teacher which continued with me finishing up the 500 hour yoga teacher training in 2007. It was during the advanced part of my teacher training that I was introduced to some more meditation techniques. I then met a Buddhist minister who taught me some guided meditations. This seemed to keep my interest a bit longer than my previous experience but still my meditation practice was rather erratic.
Then in the year 2009 I found myself at a crossroads in my life. I was really struggling and my life continued to spiral downwards. Actually, this was a continuation of a pattern that started years before, only I was not aware of just how confused and lost I had become.
The following quote pretty much sums it all up:
“In the middle of the journey of our life
I found myself within a dark woods
Where the straight way was lost.” ~ Dante Alighieri
I then began searching for some type of retreat I could go to that would not only detox me on a physical level but on an emotional level, as well. Also, something that would reconnect me with my spiritual roots and help me rediscover my authentic self. I took to the Internet and did several searches. The one place that caught my eye was the Chopra Center for Well Being in Carlsbad, CA. They had a program called Perfect Health and there was an option of doing a 10 day program. I thought, “Why not?”
I signed up for the program that started end of August and ran into September. Little did I know at the time how transformational this part of my journey would be.
I arrived at the Chopra Center for Well Being and the very first part of the program was learning a meditation technique called Primordial Sound Meditation. My teacher was a man by the name of Davidji and everything he said about his own exploration of different types of meditation immediately resonated with me. I thought finally, a meditation technique that I can stick with and apply in my daily life. He took all the mystery and myths out of what a meditation practice is. That 10 day program released so many toxins out of me physically and emotionally. I really struggled on an emotional level, something that took me by complete surprise. The Perfect Health program is an Ayurvedic program called Panchakarma. The following information is taken from the Chopra Center for Well Being website describing this program:
“Several times each year, we offer a 10-day Perfect Health program that includes panchakarma, an elegant Ayurvedic cleansing process that releases accumulated toxins and stress from the mind-body system. You will receive daily panchakarma therapies and massage treatments tailored to your unique mind-body constitution. Your healing arts master will select specific essential oils and natural herbs to purify and nurture you at the deepest cellular level.”
I spent a lot of my time crying and releasing deep emotional wounds, essentially I was a basket case all 10 days. I am so grateful for Dr. Valencia Porter who took time to talk to me one on one as I struggled with so many overwhelming emotions. The Ayurvedic treatments were very nurturing and I felt I was in a safe space to just allow the whole process to unfold in the most advantageous way. There was a small group of us going through this program who really bonded during this time and I will be forever grateful for their support. But essentially it was up to me to do all the necessary inner work.
What really struck me was how much the meditation became the biggest gift I took away with me from this program. I immediately signed up for Seduction of Spirit, the signature meditation program of the Chopra Center. This was going to be held in August of 2010 in Sedona, AZ. In the meantime, I continued practicing my meditation on a regular basis.
Since some of the benefits that we take out of meditation include reduced stress, making more conscious choices, being less reactive, more compassionate, less judgmental, to name a few, I was hopeful that my life would now turn around. Well, it did, just not in a way I had expected.
Looking back it seems that my pattern was to prove to everyone that I was unlovable, not good enough, didn’t deserve people in my life who treated me well, and the list goes on, but this is essentially how I felt. So, I hit rock bottom in 2010 and found myself in the underworld trying to find my way back into the light. Also, during this time I had a serious lower back injury that laid me up for about eight weeks which I felt was a culmination of my feelings of inadequacy and lack of self love. At the time it was hard for me to understand how this could happen after integrating a regular meditation practice into my life. But now I see that my meditation practice actually allowed me to be aware of what I was doing, something that had not happened before. In the midst of the chaos a light bulb went off and I finally gained insights that my behavior was completely out of sync and counter to my authentic self. This was a time of self-discovery and the life long pattern was finally broken.
As I continue on my meditation journey, I have discovered more and more synchronicities in my life and I am learning to be more self loving and self forgiving. As I heal and become more loving and compassionate towards myself, I am then able to spread more love and compassion out into the world. The healing of our world really does start with our own inner healing and connection to our authentic self.
My meditation practice also has helped me to develop a sense of gratitude and inner peace. I am truly grateful for all the many teachers who have come into my life, the ones who had my best interest at heart and even those who didn’t. In fact the latter were probably my best teachers and taught me the life lessons that I needed the most in order to become who I am today. My meditation practice is an ongoing journey and every day I approach it with no particular expectations, just allowing it to unfold and trusting the process. This is also what I take out of my practice into my everyday life.
My practice is what keeps me grounded and allows be to connect to the highest aspect of myself. In the moments of stillness between thoughts is where I find my deepest insights, my authentic self, inner wisdom and inner peace. I am forever grateful.
Four Ways to Let Go of Negative Emotions, Right Now
/Reconnecting with the Self
/As the sweat poured out of me and I did my best to focus on nothing more than my breath, my mind became clear. I embraced the moments that followed and left the studio with a sense of joy.
Instead, I became more focused on rooting myself to my mat and getting lost in the cadence of my breath.
It was a revelation of sorts, one that made me feel like I had the potential to control that funny thing we call life. While some yoga teachers talk and write about yoga’s ability to provide you with the skill set to maintain control of the self, it isn’t something you can wrap your head around until you experience it on your own.
How To Do A Fall Ayurvedic Cleanse
/Interestingly, fall and spring are the two times per year that the seasonal harvest foods have an especially cleansing effect on the body, helping us transition into the extreme weather cycles of winter and summer (both of which have great impact on our body’s inflammatory response, stress levels, and digestive health).
In the early fall months we have a great opportunity for deeper cleansing, signaled by the arrival of apples, beets and green beans. This harvest of lymph-cleansing foods expels heat we've accumulated in our bodies all summer, resetting the body’s inflammatory response before the colder, harsher months of winter (when the available foods are naturally heavier, richer, and more difficult to digest). Should we miss this opportunity for fall cleansing, we can likely expect to catch more seasonal illnesses in the winter, experience digestive imbalances, and have difficulty maintaining a healthy weight.
The Equinoxes – when day and night hang in equal balance – are considered in Ayurveda to be the best times to cleanse. The traditional Panchakarma is a simple, 4-day detox that can be easily performed at home using herbs, skincare and an important therapy called oleation. In Sanskrit, pancha means 5 and karma means action – these are the 5 actions that can be used for a fall cleanse.
3. Skin brushing with a cotton washcloth or raw silk gloves designed for this purpose, prior to evening bath or shower
4. 20-minute evening bath or shower
4. Self massage with organic food grade raw sesame oil or coconut oil during or after evening bath or shower
Kombucha Love
/Gratitude and Abundance
/I hope you have a fun weekend, and I encourage you to start it off by taking the five deepest breaths you’ve taken all day :)
Trust Yourself
/What We Hold Onto
/Several family members have been in the hospital. I am in the process of moving (just across town). I had my one-year anniversary at work (and got a raise!). I returned to my yoga mat and can feel my body building strength—it’s the strongest I’ve felt since my back issues this summer, and wow, I am grateful to feel great in my body again.
Soon, the dust will settle. And already, I’m reflecting on these experiences, noticing what wisdom they hold.
When I really stop and think about it, I’m amazed by the amount of time I waste on some things that don’t really matter, but that feel good:
- surfing the Internet and reading posts on social media
- watching TV
- eating unhealthy foods
- making excuses
- ignoring my emotions
- hiding
- letting guilt, fear or shame run the show
- spending time with the people I love
- saying, ‘I love you,’ and giving hugs
- practicing gratitude and awareness
- teaching yoga from my heart
- practicing yoga and leaving my ego aside
- cooking and eating healthy foods
- practicing reiki and taking an active role in my healing journey
- writing blog posts and connecting with yogis who have been impacted by my story
1. Decide what’s important.
2. Eliminate the rest.
Now is a good time to show up to my life, fully. It’s not always easy to be conscious, present, and to move through life with clear intention… but now is a good time to start.
I was going about my day and suddenly, everything changed. I found myself rushing to the hospital, sitting in an emergency room, knowing someone I love with my whole heart was suffering. I showed up. All the little stuff fell away… and I was left with this:
Now is the time to love others. Love freely, without attachment to the outcome. To give what I can, frequently. To be incredibly kind to those around me, and to thank my teachers. I choose to embody the love in my heart fully, using my words and my devotional practices.
I have an incredible support network. I have a beautiful family, incredible friends, a yoga community that inspires and amazes me, and people who constantly show me that they care. I am held up by these people, and quite honestly I would be nowhere without them. The most important thing I can do is acknowledge this, and treat all of the wonderful people in my life with kindness.
I have my body. I am more than my body, but it is a vital part of my experience here, and worth loving. Putting my health first allows me to do the things I love, and to serve others more fully. Now is a good time to love my body without exception, and to make choices that allow me to experience radiant health.
Now is a good time to show up to my life, fully. To let go of the things that I’m holding on to that aren't important. To love others, and to love myself. When it comes down to it, that’s what really matters.
Yoga for Living a Full Life
/Yoga doesn’t care about what you have been; yoga cares about the person you are becoming.
Sacramento Free Day of Yoga
/When You are Quiet, You See Everything With Love
/Don't Worry
/Wanderlust 2014 at Squaw Valley (Yoga and Music in Tahoe)
/Last weekend I enjoyed some adventuring at
. Were you guys at the festival?
I didn’t buy a ticket this year, which actually ended up being perfect. I was free to just enjoy the atmosphere, people watch, and catch up with friends… just take it all in
:)

Here are some of my favorite moments…
Seeing beautiful
Lake Tahoe
.










Wild mountain weather (it poured!).


Beautiful scenery at Squaw. Tahoe is truly a magical spot.


Rad vendors who sell handmade crafts like this lamp I bought:

Overall it was a lovely weekend, and I had a blast!
PS Last year’s
Wanderlust
was fantastic too – I met Dharma Mittra and took his asana class and meditation and pranayama workshop! Life changing.
Advice to New Yoga Teachers
/Again and again, I'm amazed at how much teaching yoga encourages me to be a more patient, loving, compassionate person. What a challenging and fulfilling practice it is to stand in front of others and share what you love!
1. When you get nervous before class (and you will), remember that being nervous is good – it means you care. :) Get grounded; start the class in child’s pose so you can take a moment for yourself. Breathe. Feel your feet on the floor. Say to yourself, “OK, I’m nervous. So what? I’m going to do this any way.”
2. See the students. Really, step back and SEE them. And then teach to who is in the room. Watch their bodies, not their faces. Their faces often look frustrated or annoyed or bored… but this is the look people have on their faces when they’re challenged by a pose. It has nothing to do with your teaching!
4. Ask for feedback, but only when you are ready to receive it. Trust your intuition firs, knowing that your opinion of yourself matters most. I made the mistake at one point of asking for too much feedback, and found my head spinning, trying to take it all in. Now, I’m very conscious about who I ask for feedback, and when… I talk to the teachers whose opinion I value and who I know will support me in growing. I also keep coming back to this: I know myself best and I can trust in that.
6. Take a breath before taking on new teaching gigs. At first, I thought it would be awesome to get as many classes on my schedule as possible…whew, was I wrong! It’s easy to get burned out. Right now I teach one class a week and that is perfect. It gives me time to work my day job and have a social life, and still fit in my practice too.
7. Get to know a studio before you teach there. Do the owners support their teachers? Is there a community established? Will you feel comfortable and supported? How far from home/work is the studio? Being a new teacher is a vulnerable role to begin with, so choose teaching opportunities that are good for you… whatever that looks like.
8. Don’t sacrifice your practice in order to teach. Period.
9. Play around. Experiment. Teach a class with no music. See what feels good. Sometimes getting out of your comfort zone will spark something new and incredible.
10. Plan ahead. When you’re brand new, it helps to know what poses are in your sequence, what music you’re playing, how the heat in the room works, whether you’ll be wearing a mic, etc. Come prepared.
11. And then, once you have your feet under you, let it flow in the moment. Walk in without a rigid plan, and see what happens. You may enjoy the freedom and creativity that comes with being in the moment, and not being attached to a certain outcome. Notice who is in your class – beginners, advanced yogis, those with injury? Adjust accordingly, and enjoy the process!
12. Thank your students. Thank them while they’re resting in savasana (I like to do this silently, energetically). Feel what a blessing it is, sharing yoga, seeing how it brings peace.
13. Thank yourself. You are giving so much. Recognize that. I thank you, too!
14. Meditate. Get clear on your intention. Why do you teach yoga?
15. Show up. This is perhaps the best advice I can give. When you're excited to teach, show up. When you want to run in the other direction. show up anyway. Keep showing up.
15. As we used to say in my teacher training, it’s just a fucking yoga class! If you get overwhelmed, just remember this... it will at least help you smile :)
Love all you yogis and yoga teachers! I'd love to hear your advice for new teachers, if you have any. Please feel free to share below or, as always, email me at aliveinthefire at gmail dot com. <3
May You Be Well: A New Series on Alive in the Fire
/Ajna Chakra
/Breathe Deeply
/You can calm your mind and your whole body. Pause for a moment right now.
Take five deep breaths. Imagine your body being flooded with light, and healing life force energy.
PS I discovered these great Ayurvedic tips for staying energized and for cooling the body in the summer heat. Namaste, friends!