When You are Quiet, You See Everything With Love

When I am quiet, I can hear the cries of my heart.

Sometimes it is when I am just driving in my car that it hits me—how precious the moment is, how sacred the song sounds, how beautiful the light is falling through the window.

I see in the mirror, the look in my own eye.

There is a knowing in my heart, the knowing that I am finally beginning to fall deeply in love with myself.

I love the moment when someone notices me, and maybe their eyes flash over to my hair or my colorful tattooed arm, and their eyes go a little wider and a smile comes across their face. And I am astonished, now, how I can look in the mirror and feel that same rush, that same reassured and calm energy that you get when someone familiar and peaceful is in your presence. 

How you are drawn to them quietly… an effortless, magnetic pull. Sometimes, just a nameless feeling, simply a sense of harmony.

Photo by Cait Loper.

Tears come to me in the quiet – in the in-between, the precious stillness.

There is so much beauty and peace there, blossoming.

Don't Worry

 Photo via Event Brite.

Sometimes we get overwhelmed seeing yogis bending like pretzels or hovering upside down, and we think, I’ll never do that!

Well, a little food for thought from one of my favorite teachers:

“Don’t worry. These poses have nothing to do with meditation or enlightenment.” 

~ Sri Dharma Mittra

Photo via Teachasana.

Yes. Thank you. Let’s remember what this practice is really about. There is so much more than the asana! :)

Wanderlust 2014 at Squaw Valley (Yoga and Music in Tahoe)

Last weekend I enjoyed some adventuring at

Wanderlust Squaw

. Were you guys at the festival?

I didn’t buy a ticket this year, which actually ended up being perfect. I was free to just enjoy the atmosphere, people watch, and catch up with friends… just take it all in

without being on a schedule

:)

Here are some of my favorite moments…

Seeing beautiful

Lake Tahoe

.

Yoga

 shenanigans… 

Acro yoga

, arm balances and inversions, hula hooping…

Live music, hugs with friends old and new, and 

good food

.

Wild mountain weather (it poured!).

Beautiful scenery at Squaw. Tahoe is truly a magical spot.

Rad vendors who sell handmade crafts like this lamp I bought:

Overall it was a lovely weekend, and I had a blast!

PS Last year’s 

Wanderlust

 was fantastic too – I met Dharma Mittra and took his asana class and meditation and pranayama workshop! Life changing.

Advice to New Yoga Teachers

Photo by Justin Kral of Kral Studios.

Lately I've been reflecting on what advice I'd give to new yoga teachers.

Again and again, I'm amazed at how much teaching yoga encourages me to be a more patient, loving, compassionate person. What a challenging and fulfilling practice it is to stand in front of others and share what you love!

Photo via Flickr.

Advice for New Yoga Teachers

1. When you get nervous before class (and you will), remember that being nervous is good – it means you care. :) Get grounded; start the class in child’s pose so you can take a moment for yourself. Breathe. Feel your feet on the floor. Say to yourself, “OK, I’m nervous. So what? I’m going to do this any way.”

2. See the students. Really, step back and SEE them. And then teach to who is in the room. Watch their bodies, not their faces. Their faces often look frustrated or annoyed or bored… but this is the look people have on their faces when they’re challenged by a pose. It has nothing to do with your teaching!

Photo via my lovely friend, Thais.

3. Teach out of adoration. Remember what this practice is really about. When you approach it with love for your students – for their happiness, peace, and well-being—it really shifts. It becomes less about you and more about sharing the gift of yoga with others.

4. Ask for feedback, but only when you are ready to receive it. Trust your intuition firs, knowing that your opinion of yourself matters most. I made the mistake at one point of asking for too much feedback, and found my head spinning, trying to take it all in. Now, I’m very conscious about who I ask for feedback, and when… I talk to the teachers whose opinion I value and who I know will support me in growing. I also keep coming back to this: I know myself best and I can trust in that.

Photo via my lovely friend, Thais.

5. If students leave the room, don’t take it personally. They've got something going on that they need to attend to; your job is to keep teaching the class.

6. Take a breath before taking on new teaching gigs. At first, I thought it would be awesome to get as many classes on my schedule as possible…whew, was I wrong! It’s easy to get burned out. Right now I teach one class a week and that is perfect. It gives me time to work my day job and have a social life, and still fit in my practice too.

  

7. Get to know a studio before you teach there. Do the owners support their teachers? Is there a community established? Will you feel comfortable and supported? How far from home/work is the studio? Being a new teacher is a vulnerable role to begin with, so choose teaching opportunities that are good for you… whatever that looks like.

8. Don’t sacrifice your practice in order to teach. Period.

9. Play around. Experiment. Teach a class with no music. See what feels good. Sometimes getting out of your comfort zone will spark something new and incredible.

10. Plan ahead. When you’re brand new, it helps to know what poses are in your sequence, what music you’re playing, how the heat in the room works, whether you’ll be wearing a mic, etc. Come prepared.

11. And then, once you have your feet under you, let it flow in the moment. Walk in without a rigid plan, and see what happens. You may enjoy the freedom and creativity that comes with being in the moment, and not being attached to a certain outcome. Notice who is in your class – beginners, advanced yogis, those with injury? Adjust accordingly, and enjoy the process!

12. Thank your students. Thank them while they’re resting in savasana (I like to do this silently, energetically). Feel what a blessing it is, sharing yoga, seeing how it brings peace.

13. Thank yourself. You are giving so much. Recognize that. I thank you, too!

14. Meditate. Get clear on your intention. Why do you teach yoga?

15. Show up. This is perhaps the best advice I can give. When you're excited to teach, show up. When you want to run in the other direction. show up anyway. Keep showing up.

15. As we used to say in my teacher training, it’s just a fucking yoga class! If you get overwhelmed, just remember this... it will at least help you smile :)

Love all you yogis and yoga teachers! I'd love to hear your advice for new teachers, if you have any. Please feel free to share below or, as always, email me at aliveinthefire at gmail dot com. <3

May You Be Well: A New Series on Alive in the Fire

I am working on setting new healthy habits in my life. I cultivate wellness by making conscious choices that are good for my body, mind, and spirit.

What I’m learning is that having a realistic approach – and being kind to myself – are key in this process.

I am not perfect, and that is OK!

As a way to document my progress, and in an effort to inspire others to be healthy, I am starting a new series on Alive in the Fire called May You Be Well. I’ll be posting ways you can happily approach radiant health by making small changes.

Each day, we have choices. My choice is to do a little bit each day. My choice is to experience as much well-being as I can, and to encourage others to do the same.

Cheers to the new series, and hope you’ll follow along!

PS I’ll be posting on Instagram at @aliveinthefire too… keep an eye out for the hashtags #mayyoubewell and #dailywellness, and hope you’ll join in the conversation. Much love, yogis!

Ajna Chakra

Photos via Pinterest and Mystic Mamma.

“Close down your eyes. Gaze in at the third eye.”

During every class I teach, I cue my students to go inward. To draw in. To let the mind settle, the body be still.

To see what wisdom is waiting.

The pose offers us a door, and in meditation, we walk through it.

May you see with great wisdom. May you trust your inner guide. May you be, truly, at peace.

Breathe Deeply

Photos via Pinterest.

Your breath is a powerful tool for healing.

You can calm your mind and your whole body. Pause for a moment right now.

Take five deep breaths. Imagine your body being flooded with light, and healing life force energy.

PS I discovered these great Ayurvedic tips for staying energized and for cooling the body in the summer heat. Namaste, friends!

You Have Such a Beautiful Practice

Photos via Pinterest.

It is such a powerful thing to thank the person on the mat next to you for sharing their practice.

“You have such a beautiful practice,” I’ll say. "You're so strong and focused in the poses."

“When you did Bird of Paradise, I was inspired to go a little farther in my pose.”

“Thank you.”

Coming together to practice the poses is a gift. 

Thank you, fellow yogis, for showing up on your mats.

Playing the Victim

Photos via Coffee and Yoga and My Morning Coffee on Tumblr.

Sometimes I fall into this cycle of playing the victim.

This happened recently when I was having intense low back pain. I’d be standing at work, or driving in my car, and be completely overwhelmed. What did I do to deserve this pain? When will it end? I just want to be back on my yoga mat! This isn’t fair!

I felt helpless to my own situation. There’s nothing I can do to make this better.

Then, last week, I started actively pursuing healing for myself and it was uncanny, how quickly I felt better.

Seeing my doctor and chiropractor is helping to rule out the possibilities. Seeing my reiki healer is helping to release fear and attachment to the physical pain. Choosing to eat better, to go for walks, and to get more sleep is helping my aching body to heal.

Talking it through with people I love is helping me to remember I am not alone.

The reality is that there are things that I am doing to make it better.

It’s getting better, and will continue to.

The reality is that I have a choice in how I react. I can choose to see myself as beautiful, perfect, and healed. In fact, I can step into that reality right here, right now and let things be OK as they are.

Instead of playing the victim and living in the fear, I choose to love myself. To heal.

Shavasana: Final Rest

Photo by Justin Kral.

In shavasana all effort and all determination fall away. The body lies in stillness.

We are not the body, which is subject to death, but rather we are the unborn, the unchanging. The death of the body invites us to come back to our true nature, which is consciousness.

This letting go of artificial identification with what is impermanent is shavasana.

Shavasana, when done properly – as the letting go of everything – shows us what we truly are. Both the Yoga Sutra and the Bhagavad Gita state that the pure existence, pure awareness, pure being that is left at the end of the body is without beginning and end.

It cannot be cut by knives,

It cannot be pierced by thorns,

It cannot be burned by fire,

It cannot be drowned in water.

It is eternal, the true self.

This post is an excerpt from Ashtanga Yoga: Practice & Philosophy by Gregor Maehle. Namaste.

No Mud, No Lotus (On Suffering, Injury and Tattoos)

Through my struggle, I am developing compassion.

My back has been hurting again this week. I think it became aggravated during a chair twist, one I demonstrated while I was teaching. I wasn't careful, and now there’s pain again.

I've been frustrated. I cried about it. My ego showed up, saying, “What did I do to deserve this? Why me?”

But I choose to breathe. Today I invite patience, calling upon my yoga practice.

I read recently that you can tell you've been practicing yoga for a while – that it’s working – when you notice that you’re a little slower to anger, a little more aware, that maybe you can laugh when something unexpected or uncomfortable comes along.

I think about my beautiful sleeve of lotus flowers, each of them a reminder of some pain I’ve been through.

“Most people are afraid of suffering,” Thich Nhat Hanh says. “But suffering is a kind of mud to help the lotus flower grow. There cannot be a lotus flower without the mud.”

I am in the mud, and I am the lotus.

All is exactly as it should be.

I consciously choose to adopt an attitude of gratitude for what this experience of back pain is bringing me: new appreciation for my body… new appreciation for those who support me…and a chance to step away from my mat and let my teaching be my practice. 

To see my students with adoration, and to have an intention of helping them stay safe in their yoga—good alignment, careful, integrated movement.

I even have plans to develop a class for people who are dealing with injury, and for those healing back pain. 

I have plans to use the next few months to study anatomy, to dive back in to my teacher training curriculum and expand my understanding of how each pose affects the body. And to start fundraising for my next training. 

I may be off my mat, but I am still actively involved in my yoga practice.

 

Longing, loss, devastation… they make way for repair. They are the mud that creates the beautiful, graceful lotus.

I invite the fullness of healing. I invite patient awareness. I invite growth. This, too, shall pass; in fact, this is already exactly as it should be.

Wanderlust Festival at Squaw Valley

Photos by Ali Kaukas, via Wanderlust.

Are you Wanderlust-ing this year?

Wanderlust is my favorite yoga and music festival. I went to Squaw Valley last year and absolutely loved it.

I took classes with Dharma Mittra and MC Yogi, hula hooped with Shakti Sunfire, and had a blast wandering around seeing performers, eating delicious food, and listening to great music.

At night, the party came to life when Quixotic, Gramatik, and Moby played live.

This year’s lineup is amazing, too, and I’m really excited to go!

It’s crazy reflecting on the past year and how much has changed… and how much I’ve grown since I was at Wanderlust for my first time…

Since I took Dharma Mittra’s workshop last year, I’ve been eating vegetarian. (Well, pescetarian :)

Last year I attended the festival as a yoga student. Now, I’m a yoga teacher, too.

Then, I walked into the fest with one friend. I left for home with a handful of new friends from Tahoe who I’m still close to. This July, I’ll be attending among dozens of yogi friends, fellow teachers, and members of my local community. It is an amazing feeling to be so plugged in here in California!

I’m feeling very grateful and excited about Wanderlust this year. Will you be attending? XO

PS You can read about my experience at Wanderlust 2013 to get an idea of how it was... amazing!

Wholeness Over Happiness

I had an amazing conversation last night with a person who I really love. We talked about how often we see

people shy away from ‘negative’ emotions

, and how it’s so much easier to let them go when we allow ourselves to experience them.

“They wash over you like a wave,” I said. “And

if you fully embrace them and allow yourself to

feel

what you’re feeling, it’s so powerful.

If you’re sad,

be sad

. Allow it. It’s amazing what happens when you actually do that.”

He nodded, and we both smiled. “And then the fear or sadness or whatever passes,” he said.

“Yes,” I agreed.

“And it makes that moment when happiness returns

so

much better,” he said. “It’s such a

relief

and so beautiful when you feel good again.”

How powerful it is when we allow feelings to exist as they are. When we acknowledge what is. When we remember that we are never alone in our experiences, however painful they may be.

This quote I discovered on

A Cup of Jo

said it brilliantly, too:

I actually attack the concept of happiness. The idea that—I don't mind people being happy—but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness. It's a really odd thing that we're now seeing people saying "write down three things that made you happy today before you go to sleep" and "cheer up" and "happiness is our birthright" and so on. We're kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position. It's rubbish.

Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are.

H

appiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don't teach us much.

Everyone says we grow through pain and then as soon as they experience pain they say, "Quick! Move on! Cheer up!" I'd like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word "happiness" and to replace it with the word "wholeness." Ask yourself, "Is this contributing to my wholeness?" and if you're having a bad day, it is.

—

Hugh MacKay

You were made to be real not perfect! I was too!

Softening

Photos via Pinterest.

I’m reading Yoga for Real Life by Maya Fiennes, and I love this quote she includes from Yogi Bhajan:

“Even you just lean slightly in the right direction, you’ll get some benefit.”

This leaning starts with our intention. What am I holding in my heart—softness and openness? Or bitterness?

I can soften, inviting greatness. I don’t have to struggle. I can lean peacefully in the right direction, noticing the difference it makes not to obsess over perfection.

And I can start now.

All Bodies are Beautiful

Video via Kickstarter.

I love this project, and I can so relate to what Taryn, the creator says:

"Women and girls are constantly held back and lead to believe they’re not as good as they should be. Why? Because every day we feel we’re being judged on our appearance and how far away it is from an unachievable ideal.

Lose weight, reduce wrinkles, fight cellulite; we’re constantly told to fight a battle to be someone other than who we are."

With Embrace, Taryn seeks to explore body image and encourage people around the world to shift their thinking. What a beautiful story, and a beautiful goal!

In yoga, we seek to embody our bodies -- to connect with our own physicality, to nurture, to release, and ultimately to love our bodies.

I encourage you to check out the Body Image Movement, and I hope you'll truly hear me when I say: you are beautiful.

Namaste.

Finding Inspiration

Photos via Sweaty Betty.

Where do you go to find motivation on the days when you feel uninspired, burned out, and tired?

Life moves quickly. In the last few weeks, I’ve been feeling spread thin. I find myself saying yes to projects I know in my heart I don’t really have the energy for, making plans on days when I’d rather spend time solo, regretting both.

It helps when I make time to be still, in silence. Wisdom makes its way through. In the moments of discovery and clarity, I am at peace.

I am allowed to be imperfect.

I’m working on loving myself even on the days when I feel tired, or self-critical.

I don’t have to wear yoga clothes and roll out my mat every day. Maybe right now it’s OK to have too many projects and to feel spread thin. This won’t last forever, and I can choose to make positive changes. To set new habits.

In the same way that I approach a challenging posture, I can approach life with fierce determination.

Loving myself is its own practice. Learning to be comfortable in my own body, whether I’m ready for a night out or I’m just wearing yoga shorts and a sports bra at home. Finding ease. I release the attachments that do not serve me.

Dharma Mittra says: When you are quiet, you see everything with love.

I keep coming back to these words on the days when I feel overwhelmed and scattered. When I do slow down, when I am quiet, I see the beauty that’s been sitting there all along.

“Freedom does not come from a checklist, and a ‘zero inbox’ is not a life aspiration.

If liberation is a chore, it’s not really liberation.

You can’t contract your way to freedom.

You can’t punish your way to joy.

You can’t fight your way to inner peace.

The journey has to feel the way you want the destination to feel.

Let me offer this again, in reverence to your life force:

The journey has to feel the way you want the destination to feel.

And again, with respect to your potential:

The journey has to feel the way you want the destination to feel.”

- Danielle La Porte, posted on Mystic Mamma

Be Here Now

“When you learn to be with now-ness, guidance becomes an ‘And now’ experience, rather than ‘What next?’

“In being fully present, you serve more fully and experience the gifts and teachings of what you do. 

 

“With self-acceptance you participate with an open heart, a certainty that you belong in beauty, in sacred awareness of being. Now-ness is where all participation begins and ends and is renewed in each turning of the wheel.

“Now-ness is the path and the destination, and so you are always and already here.”

~Loren Cruden (found via Mystic Mamma)

Using a Block During Yoga

Photo by Justin Kral.

Using a block during yoga class can help you deepen your practice, whether you’re trying a balancing pose you've never done before, or feeling a posture in a new way by finding integrated alignment.

Photo via Boforbesyoga.

A block can also be used to build strength, like if you’re holding one during a warrior pose…

…or even to encourage the body to relax, the joints to open, and the muscles to release and lengthen, like in supported savasana.

Photo via Shop Half Moon.

I love using a block in Warrior III, and Balancing Half Moon.

You can even try standing on a block for Tree pose, to play with improving your balance.

Photo via The Daily Bandha.

Or placing a block under each shoulder during Chaturanga Dandasana, to feel the alignment in the shoulders. I also highly recommend using a strap around the upper arms, just above the elbows, when you’re learning this pose!

Photo via Hearts Expanding.

Photo via Pinterest.

If you’re looking for a block to use for your home practice or a sweaty vinyasa class, I highly recommend Kulae’s cork yoga block. The block has great traction and is eco-friendly.

Photo via Kulae.

If you’re doing a more relaxed, non-heated practice or a yin class, I recommend JBN Woodcraft’s handmade wood yoga block. These are so beautiful – handmade in a variety of types of wood, including maple, sappelle, and cherry. You can have a custom engraving made, like the “Bhakti” text seen here. These blocks are a bit heavier but perfect for keeping around your home in your own sacred space. They’d make a lovely gift for your favorite yogi friends and teachers, or even a nice piece to put on your at-home altar, if you have one!

Photo via JBN Woodcraft.

Do you have certain postures you’re working on with a block? 

Manduka Yoga Mats

Photos by Justin Kral of Kral Studios.

Yoga mats matter. Not only because they lay a foundation under our hands and feet when we practice, but because the way they’re produced can have a big impact on the environment.

I have a new favorite mat: Manduka’s LiveON yoga mat. Their team was kind enough to send me one to try out and I’m absolutely in love with it.

Here’s why:

• The no-slip grip is incredible, better than any other mat I’ve used before.
• The mat is lightweight but still provides a lot of comfort. It’s amazingly cushiony for only being 5mm in diameter.
• I love the color! So fun and spring-y.
• The mat is made out of 100% recyclable PLUSfoam material. After using this mat for a long time, I can send it in to PLUSfoam and they’ll make it into new products. As they say, they’re “putting landfills out of business.” Amazing! 

The LiveON yoga mat is perfect for my at-home practice and for when I do yoga in the park (it’s ideal for non-heated classes). I highly recommend checking out this mat as soon as it releases – you can sign up here to be in the loop when it goes on sale in June 2014.

Thanks, Manduka, for living up to your promises as a sustainable company – and for your generous sharing of this yoga mat! I’ll be practicing on it for years, I can already tell.

Manduka is more than eco-conscious yoga gear. Way more. We are joyology – a study in living. Our { mission } starts on the mat. --> I couldn't agree more! :)

Indie Spiritualist: A No Bullshit Exploration of Spirituality (Book Review)

Photos via Indie Spiritualist website and on Facebook.

“You were born to be real, not to be perfect.”

- Chris Grosso, Indie Spiritualist

Being true with ourselves is so important. This has been surfacing again and again in my life lately: how, at a very deep level, yoga is a practice of being real.

For all its fancy postures and esoteric spiritual practices, yoga is, quite simply, a way of tuning in to what exactly is happening in the present moment. 

I may be on my mat, in a posture (asana), feeling what it feels like to breathe (pranayama). Or maybe I'm choosing to treat others with kindness (ahimsa) in a moment where I want to react in anger.

Yoga helps us detach from needing everything to be perfect, and instead just to feel, to allow, to explore, to truly connect.

I recently received a copy of Chris Grosso's book, Indie Spiritualist and it's one of my new favorites. Chris explores what it really means to be honest with ourselves, to let go of the darkness of a broken past, and to heal.

He says:

True spirituality embraces all of this [life]: the beauty that is almost too much to bear, as well as the paint hat leads some to the brink of insanity. It’s all grist for the mill. We practice our asanas and mantras, prayers and aspirations, and that’s great; but are they serving to strengthen our identification as a “spiritual person” or to help us release our identification with that illusion, and in the process deepen our exploration of more than meets the eye?

I like Chris' down-to-earth approach to exploring what it means to be human. Following his story, I really connected with the idea of him as a seeker, someone wanting to grow, and let go. And his path is not easy -- he falls down, he feels hopeless, he messes up -- but, ultimately, he chooses to keep going.

I was very inspired by his honesty, and the way he embraces all of his experiences (including the road from addiction to recovery) with an open heart.

If I am to be truly responsible for myself, then I have to accept discomfort and acknowledge the aspects of myself that scare the shit out of me and make my heart sink, because this is where the true healing can begin.

These were two other passages that really resonated:

The gift of desperation

“I was blessed with what the twelve-step fellowships call ‘the gift of desperation,’ which means that I’d hit such a rock bottom that I was finally able to surrender. I had nothing left to hold on to, and nothing holding me back. I was completely bankrupt in every sense of the word – morally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically – which allowed me to completely let go. In turn, letting go allowed for true inner spiritual growth to begin.”

The fear behind the fear

“As I kept moving forward with my recovery, I began to explore the reasons I was so scared to look at the things that sucked in my life—self-loathing, fear, emotional scars, and other baggage. I began to see clearly the futile nature of fear behind the fear. And herein lies a perfect opportunity to explore why we’re scared to take an honest look at the unpleasant things in our life (besides the obvious fact that they’re unpleasant). And more importantly, to figure out what we can do today to begin making even small steps toward changing that.”

Thank you, Chris, for sharing your story, for choosing not to hide, and for being true to yourself. Namaste.